Today I hit a funk. I moved. Cleaned. Got ready for Christmas. Entertained families. Had Christmas….
….then it hit me. I’m in a new city, with my boyfriend, no real friends, and the highlight of my day today was walking aimlessly around Target.
I felt fat. Bored. Lonely. Uncontent. guilty for being such a baby.
The point is..and I said it over dinner to my man after two hours of seclusion and three pieces of cake (I will address this later) that I make the choice to be happy.
….happiness is a freaking choice!
I look back through the past three years and I don’t know if I’ve been truthfully happy. When you’re dealing with a binge eating issue/disorder you don’t live for happiness. The binger lives in unhappiness and tries to find it in food (ie. the three pieces of cake above). I love my boyfriend and have one more month of no work before I head back to work.
We can either look at life as the 15lbs we need to lose, the partner we can’t seem to find, the crappy job we have or the money that isn’t there..or we can focus on the happiness we have.
….I would argue the for some of us, me included, I’ve become so accustom to being unhappy that I feel uncomfortable in happy.
For 2012 I am going to focus on being happy, free, care-free and footloose. No matter what we are doing, traveling happy makes everything more enjoyable.