There are many ways in which you can travel through life.
For the longest time I think that I was going through motions of wanting to be happy. Or aligning myself with things, school, jobs to give me the sense of doing something that had purpose. Had a focus.
practice being open in love so that when purpose hits you over the head (and it will) you will be ready to go after it with all you’ve got.
That you have to love.
I got on facebook this morning and saw one of my friends who had posted
Guard your heart
I have heard some of my friends say this as a mantra in their lives: especially in response to relationships. That one must ‘guard their heart’ so that it doesn’t get hurt, led astray from their beliefs, saddened.
When I met Andrew I would say that I was open to the idea of a relationship. My heart toyed with it. However, I have pretty much lived with a guarded heart my whole entire life. As a product of divorce, you learn to expect relationships to end…thus leading to your heart being numb and guarded. The image that its open is false.
The torment of being emotionally present throughout my relationship with Andrew AND my food recovery is that I HAVE to have an open heart.
I remember sobbing on the couch in the early days of the relationship because I was terrified of letting someone in. I remember the first time that I actually looked in the mirror and started picking up the pieces of a broken self-image. I distinctly recal the time that I was able to speak in front of a group of women about my journey, as a way to open my heart to their judgement and their love for me in my own journey.
I do not think that going through life with a guarded heart will give you what you REALLY want. There’s a different between keeping your heart guarded against people, things, activities..which do not align with your morals/values/beliefs or methods of escaping emotions.
We all MUST keep our hearts open to the love of the world, because in the love of the world is where we find love for ourselves, the love that we crave from others and the ability to realise our own strength.
It’s not behind a shield.