food recovery / life

stop fearing the tipping point

There has to come a time in all of our lives when we realise that the life we are leading isn’t exactly the way we want it.

we make a change
we get scared
we go back
we realise we want change
we make a change
we get scared
WE PUSH THROUGH

I have a fucked up relationship with dieting of any sort, any sort of food restriction, exercise, body, scale, etc. Some of it is conditioned, some it lies within the 12 years of my life devoted at all levels of my soul to weight, and some of it is drama-filled-resistance-to-change.

Sometimes I wonder if I have been waiting for the aha moment when I’d realise that the life I had secretly always wanted, but never.could.seem.to.grasp., would slap me upside the head and render me speechless. It hasn’t happened.

I think when you wait for the aha moment, you keep yourself either stuck in a holding pattern or a downward spiral.

I have been waiting for three years..or more.

I suppose the tipping for me came this weekend. I got brave and wrote something very personal that I thought I never would. I erased all diet programs from my computer, ipod and ipad. I realised that for three years I had been trying to lose the same amount of weight. That for three years I was almost willing to do anything to stop my addictive relationship with dieting.

I asked myself how many more years I wanted to give to this.

It wasn’t an aha moment. It wasn’t a moment tucked away with promises, rewards, 10% goals, stickers, massage vouchers, new pants eyed out, paper clips…nothing. It came from a place of pure and total desire for peace.

So, I feel like I’m just walking down a different path. It feels nice.

Of course there’s anxiety about it all. But I feel ready to just get beyond the tipping point into the life that I have always been afraid to join and realise that I can embrace it.

have you had a tipping point?

~Mish

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2 thoughts on “stop fearing the tipping point

  1. I can so relate to this right now. 1. I’m so waiting for the universe to bring me good news, and that ‘aha’ moment to happen…I agree that life doesn’t necessarily happen that way. Amazing people/moments/opportunities may come our way, but we’re still the same person unless we choose to change something internally 2. I feel like I’m on the verge of a tipping point right now, where I’m pursuing various directions my life could go. It’s exciting, terrifying, fascinating and downright scary all at the same time. But, at some point, we just need to jump.

  2. Pingback: 7 things I realised in 24 hours after I stopped dieting « MishMarieG

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