I don’t think that we were made to have the most perfect like we could imagine.
As my cousin’s wife says “Welcome to my life un-edited”..this is of course was after one of her daughters stepped in the leftover pie.
I have been struggling with food this past week and it comes from a place of wanting perfection. It comes from a place of wanting to be some-place other than I am. I’ve hidden this struggle for the past four years and have only allowed glimpses of it to Andrew..mostly out of frustration on his part due to my lashing out at him and being in a foul mood.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. Matthew 11:28
I don’t know about you…but the the idea that you can be JUST WHERE YOU ARE is a very powerful place to be. It’s a powerful thing to fillet your soul open to someone and share with them all of your nasty insecurities, the snot laden truths of your life..and for them to hold your hand and to say that they still love you.
It was on my walk this afternoon that I’m reminded that we all are here for so much more than our struggles. We are so much more then the ugly moments of old habits, snappy comments, negative head spaces and rash decisions. I suppose it gleans hope on the fact that I do think that all God, and those around us who desperately care about us, want for us to find the means and space to see the happiness that they see for us in life.
God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Romans 14:17
I’ve been very successful at adding complication to my life. I’ve over-thought, obsessed, stripped the joy and squeezed the beauty out of my own life in an attempt to fill it with joy. I thought that cutting out foods, being a certain size, getting certain grades, and aligning my career choices for others was where I would find the joy in my heart that I thought was somewhere outside of me. We’re taught about it all the time..do this, do that, be a career woman, succeed, plan, buy, explore..do it all.
For me, and in the journey I’m on, I’m constantly reminded that ‘all that’ is only accomplished WITH pure joy…when there’s joy in my heart. So to say that we CAN have it all is the truth, but I think that it starts with the simple and oftentimes scary place of actually stating where you are. Giving words to what you’re feeling right now and realising that you don’t need to compare them to where you think you should be, or want to be, or where you were told you should be. You have to start, or at least what I’ve finding, is a place that begins with my connection to my faith, breathing peace into the mind-spining conversations that have taken over a great deal of my life, and knowing that where I go..is going to be more filled with joy and happiness with God..then if I tried to accomplish things without him there.
So be where you are. Add an open faith-filled heart. Then set the world on fire.