This past week has been such a great one! I have had the most relaxing and amazing time catching up with good friends in Perth. I went up there to continue my studying of cardiac stuff (I won’t bore you with the details of ECGs and heart failure stuff) but cardiac nursing is interesting.
I almost died of pure bliss when I got to snuggle a three-week old baby.
People, I don’t KNOW what is going on over here, but there’s a cascade of hormones or somethin’. I just am lovin’ babies. Now, previously, I haven’t been someone who has wanted a baby. In fact, the thought of having a little screaming baby hasn’t been all that appealing. But now, I want to just hold little babies and kiss their necks. Maybe it’s been perpetuated by these two women putting up adorable photos of their little ones on instagram, or I’m happy with my man, or I’m thirty in seven months…not sure.
I’m a sucker for kisses on a babies neck. It’s too much.
I got to go to my favourite spot..the Grumpy Sailor.
I got to catch-up with my two American ladies and their two Aussie men. That’s right…three crazy Americans girls..with three laid-back Australian men who love Cricket and Fishing. How did that happen? That’s breakfast people. I couldn’t even finish it.
Something has changed in the past week or so. About two weeks ago, I was bawling my eyes out in the drive-thru. Right now, I’d tell you that I’m happy. I’m in a place where I have DECIDED to step up and move on from my crap.
More though, I’m actually just becoming more entrenched in the idea of ‘opening my arms to life and falling into it’. If that makes any sense? Because I think, at the end of the day, we have to decide to either keep a strong-hold on things that we already know work to keep us where we are mentally..or let go. It’s that simple.
Like a HUGE major axis shift in my soul. It feels calm, refreshed, and rejuvenated.I think for a long time I have played the victim card. I have wanted to blame my eating, mental tapes of being overwhelmed/tired/stressed on things outside of myself, life, events..when really it boils down to me taking owevership for how I interact with life. I have found myself telling Andrew over and over again that I really do love life, love him and feel very insync with what we are doing with our lives together. He told me that I’ve told him already..five times. I keep saying it outloud, because it’s ozzing out of my soul. It’s where I am.
This axis shift is not easy people. It’s not something that comes because I’m a happy clappy (Fillintheblank). It takes a crap-ton of work and self-discovery. If there’s one thing that I would tell people, it would be to get through the icky stuff in your head, recognise where you are, and decide what you want in life.
There’s a newness about my heart, where I feel as though I’m able to give to those around me in a way I’ve never been able to do before. I feel as though I can actually feel joy, love, excitement and contentment. The ability to weed through my former associations and choose ones know which align with where I want to be and where I want to go. I think that becomes all of our goals in life. A gentle, pivotal, swing toward what makes our hearts smile, breathes energy into our lives, and lets go of the anchors holding us back. I’ve talked about this a lot…but my axis has shifted.
“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are — no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.” Matthew 5:5
So, yeah…that’s where I’m at. I pray, send happy thoughts, etc..that you’re doing something today that moves your axis or keeps it aligned with what your really want.