So..I haven’t exactly been Paleo this week…all the time. I mean how can you turn down an American Flag Cake?
More so..I think it hit me this week..that I’m GETTING MARRIED! I don’t know what it is, but the idea of being a WIFE is much more profound and larger than being a girlfriend or a fiance. I have a duty and obligation…and DESIRE to plow through the crap that have held me back.
I love this devotional and something which absolutely hit me was the following:
Will this choice add to my peace or steal from it?
SUCH an important thing. Do we desire to live in peace or chaos?
I think, and know, that I am someone who has the tendency to be ‘amped up’. I thrive, oftentimes, in chaos and only get stuff done when I feel tremendous pressure. I create peace-less situations at times and tend to blow things up. I talk a lot, I process things to death, I stress about things which haven’t happened. I’m a worst-case-scenario kinda girl. Anxiety city.
What this breeds is something a lot bigger..being at peace.
I’ve talked about it a lot, I’ve stewed over it mentally. Planning a wedding internationally, dealing with visas, trying to decide career moves, and find balance with food is overwhelming at times. I look at it all and there a’int an ounce of peace in it..or so it would seem.
I’ve been uncomfortable with the idea of peace. It feels foreign and odd. I don’t think that my childhood was peaceful and I learned to live in chaos, arguments, changing family arrangements and being able to fend for myself.
But, as I was reflecting this weekend on my walk..I realised that I have to focus on peace. I want to be a wife, a woman, and future mother who isn’t constantly reacting to life with chaos..rather peace.
I held onto the above passage and this one.
My disgust and frustrating with myself stripped me of the peace and joy I wanted to be the hallmark of my life. Having peace is a big deal, Scripture tells us to let the peace of God rule in our hearts (Colossians 3:15). Isn’t peace what we want in every area of our life — even health?
So this week it’s about peace. Peace breathing into my day. Looking at food not as an object, but as something that can enable or remove peace from my day. We all have decisions in life which we KNOW will result in peace or frustration. Looking at that has helped to bridge that feeling of “I know where I want to be, but I don’t seem to be getting there”.
Oh…I’m down 100gms — 91.9kg/202.2lbs
I also ran 8 minutes straight today…and I’m very proud of that!!!